The Truth of the Matter
Be gratefull that you have a glass
I don't really like it here. There. I said it. The truth of the matter is that being here in Beijing is a means to an end. Pay off debt and save money. It's an investment in a more secure and delight-filled future. Suffering for a cause. Ok, I wouldn't really say I am suffering, but I have had some pretty low days so far. I know it's probably part of the whole culture shock V curve or W curve or whatever they call it. And it also doesn't help that we arrived just as winter started - a very cold winter.
It's not all bad, but some days the negatives can bite at your soul. Air pollution roulette is the worst! Be thankful that you, wherever you are, have clean air to breathe every day and you don't have to negotiate with a toddler to get her to put a face mask on. And then feel mother-guilt when you can't get her to put her face mask on but still have to go outside, because well, life calls. You are lucky if you don't live in a place where before you check the weather you have to check your AQI app to see just how many toxins you will be breathing in when you step outside. It makes you realize how precious our world is and how we absolutely need to be taking measures to protect it. It's one of the many things we shouldn't take for granted. In fact, we shouldn't take anything for granted.
What else? Hmmm. China is like nowhere else I have ever lived or visited before. I know I have only been here for a few months, so I am trying to give it time before I settle on my opinions. My initial impression is that there is a certain warmth missing in the people you pass on the street everyday. I don't have any other way to describe it. I suppose it is a mix of things that contribute to this like stoicism, history and maybe even a culture of only-child families. Oh, and the language barrier! It just seems to take longer to get to know people and find common ground.I am also experiencing what it is like to be the one that looks different; getting stared at and followed around by what we jokingly call the Chinese paparazzi. Our blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned daughter gets the most attention. Goodness knows how many people have pictures of her in their family albums now! To be honest, it is a big lesson in humility, understanding and acceptance. I can't help but think of others who have spent their whole lives being the "different" one, whether it is because of disability, race, religion, you name it. It takes courage to be who you are and carry on with your everyday life when you constantly have everyone's eyes on you making judgments (whether good or bad). My only advice is - stop staring! And be kinder, gentler with others you meet that are not like you. You never know what struggles lie beneath the surface.
Like I said before, it's not all bad! And those who know me know that I am not one to swim in negativity for too long at a time. It's against my nature. Besides practicing gratitude is so much more rewarding. So here is a little list of things I am grateful for as I settle in to my new home in China:
Wednesdays off from work to take my daughter to a baby group with lots of other lovely mothers and kids.
An 8 minute walking commute to work that allows me to go home for lunch and sneak in even more time with my baby girl (who is nearly TWO - how did THAT happen?!).
A wonderfully spacious apartment that feels like home and is our little refuge in a city of over 21 million people.
Lots of space on my side of the bed, which means no sideways shuffling when I need to get up and at 'em in the morning!
More chances to travel to places old and new (in the books - Hong Kong for Easter, Seattle in the summer, Thailand in October and hopefully the UK for Christmas - not a bad list for the year!)
A gym and great lap pool just downstairs from where we live. I am now swimming 2-3 times a week and I love it!
A chance to save some money for our family and our future.
I am watching less TV and reading more. Let me know if you have a book you love that I should add to my reading list. :)
So, there you have it folks. I am learning that all of the feelings are important. There is more than one way to do something. You don't always have to put on a happy face, but you must keep living as best as you can. Life is about balance and riding through the lows so that you can make it back to the highs. And that lovely little word - gratitude - makes all the difference.